That Was Zen ~~~ This Is Tao

...and just for a little added fun,
we've categorized them for you "by sign" ~ enjoy.

ARIES

I Want It All and I Want It Delivered... Now !

I'm Not Getting Older....I'm Getting Meaner

My Dog Can Lick Anyone

TAURUS

If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes,
He Would Have Put Them on My Knees

The More I Learn About Women,
the More I Love My Harley

60-Year-Old, One Owner,
Needs Parts... Make Offer

GEMINI

I Don't Suffer from Insanity.... I'm a Carrier

The Two Most Common Elements in
the Universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity

Procrastinate Now!

CANCER

Be Nice to Your Children...
They'll Pick Your Nursing Home

A Nest Isn't Empty Until All
Their Stuff Is Out of the Attic

I Yell Because I Care

(On a baby-size shirt)
Party - My Crib - 2:00 a.m.

LEO

Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things
I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

I'm Not 50 !
I'm $49.95 Plus Shipping & Handling

VIRGO

Upon the Advice of My Attorney,
My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time

My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink

If You Can Read This...Kiss A Teecher

Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes...
Use Birth Control

LIBRA

Husbands Should Come With Instructions

My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse...
.... He Couldn't do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse

(Across a drawing of a skeleton)
Waiting for the Perfect Man

Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt

SCORPIO

I'm Not Suddenly a Dirty Old Man...
I've Been Practicing Since 1949

I Am the Person Your Parents Warned You About

Rehab Is for Quitters

SAGITTARIUS

I Used Up All My Sick Days...
So I Called In Dead

That's It!  I'm Calling Grandma!

Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many.
Monogamy Is the Same

Fifty Is the Ultimate F-Word

CAPRICORN

Filthy Stinking Rich...
Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

Life Is Hard; Then You're Not Here

El Niño Made Me Do It

AQUARIUS

Never Underestimate the Power of
Stupid People in Large Groups

Re-Elect Nobody

You Who Think You Know It All
Are Damned Annoying to Those of Us Who Do

PISCES

Husband and Cat Lost... Reward for Cat

If You Remember the '60s,
You Weren't Really There

Aliens Have Examined My Internal Organs

'YA GOTTA LOVE IT!
 

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