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*** over 18 ***
if not, out 'ya go...

Off you go...to the Games
right here
     
 

We tend to be pretty aquarian around here,
 

We are all in this soup together!

i.e. "non-sexist"
... b-u-t ... we couldn't help ourselves:

 

The Human Female Brain

 

The Human Male Brain

The National Science Foundation announced
the following study results on corporate
America's recreational preferences:

The Sport of Choice for:
    1. maintenance level employees:  BOWLING
    2. front line workers:                       FOOTBALL
    3. supervisors:                                 BASEBALL
    4. middle management:                     TENNIS
    5. corporate officers:                           GOLF
CONCLUSION:
The higher one is in the corporate structure,
the smaller one's balls.

It ain't easy being a dick...

Top 10 reasons E-mail is like a penis:

10.  Those who have it would be devastated
            if it was ever cut off.

9.  Those who have it think that
            those who don't are somehow inferior.

8.  Those who don't have it may agree that
            it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that
            those who have it make about it.

7.  Many of those who don't have it would like to try it,
            a phenomenon psychologists call "E-mail Envy."

6.  It's more fun when it's up, but
            this makes it hard to get any real work done.

5.  In the distant past, its only purpose was
            to transmit information
            vital to the survival of the species.
            Some people still think that's
            the only thing it should be used for,
            but most folks today use it mostly for fun.

4.  If you don't take proper precautions,
            it can spread viruses.

3.  We attach an importance to it that is far
            greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

2.  If you're not careful what you do with it,
            it can get you into a lot of trouble.

And the number one reason Why E-mail is Like a Penis.....

      1.  If you play with it too much, you'll go blind.

Those of you who do not agree with this
      are not fully maximizing all the available
            features of your E-mail system!

Need your eyes tested?

Eye Examination Chart - Back-Up! Yes, AWAY from your monitor.

 

An old man was sitting on a bench in the park
when a young man with spiked hair
came over and sat down beside him.
The boy's hair was yellow, green, orange and purple.
He had black makeup around his eyes.

The old man just stared at him.
The boy said, "What's the matter, old man,
haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The old man answered, "Well yes, actually, I have.
I once got drunk and f***ed a chicken.
I was just wondering if you were my son."

Did you hear that one?  yukyuk, howwwlll!

 

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day,
carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak
with the president of the bank to open a savings account,
"because, it's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally
ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always
right!). The bank president then asked her how much she
would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and
dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all
this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're
carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this
money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you
$25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can
never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged,
"So, would you like to take my bet?"

Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are
not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since
there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer
with me tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and
spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning
from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked
them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way
his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00 a.m., the little old lady
appeared with her lawyer at the president's office.
She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated
the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady
asked him to drop his pants so they could all see.

The president complied. The little old lady peered closely
at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of
money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was
quietly banging his head against the wall.
The president asked the old lady,
"What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replied, "Oh, nothing, except that I bet him
$100,000 that at 10:00 a.m. today, I would have
The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."


A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots,
but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say,
'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed,
"but I have a solution to your problem.
Bring your two female parrots over to my house,
and I will put them with my two male talking parrots
whom I taught to pray and read the Bible.

Parrots who read the Bible?

My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying
that terrible phrase, and your female parrots
will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots
to the priest's house. His two male parrots are
holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

The lady puts her two female parrots in with
the male parrots, and the female parrots say,
"Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male
parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away.
Our prayers have been answered!"

 


 
A girl from the South and a girl from the North
were seated side by side on a plane.

The girl from the South, being friendly and all,
said, "So, where ya'll from?"

The Northern girl said, "From a place where
they know better than to use a
preposition at the end of a sentence."

The girl from the South sat quietly
for a few moments and then replied,
"So, where ya'll from, bitch?"

Did you hear the one about:
the guy who walks into a pub and sees a sign
hanging over the bar which reads:

Cheese Sandwich:     $  1.50
Chicken Sandwich:     $  2.50
Hand Job:                   $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?," she inquires with a knowing smile,
"May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man,
"are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "indeed I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your f***ing hands,
I want a cheese sandwich!"

Lunchtime in Back Alley
Back Alley