There are three signs of old age. You know you are into middle age when you realize Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. You are getting old when you don't care where your
spouse goes,
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are
five women
You know you're getting on in years when
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both
ends,
Of course I'm against sin;
Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion
that never ends.
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned
to slow down
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations
At your age, "getting a little action" means
Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
The aging process could be slowed down
You're getting old when "getting lucky" means
You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker,
You're getting old when your wife gives up sex for
Lent,
You're getting old when you wake up with that
morning-after feeling,
The cardiologist's diet:
Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news -
It's hard to be nostalgic
You know you're getting old when you stop buying
green bananas
Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind,
The first is one is loss
of memory, the other two I forget.
that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
But everything
else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out...
just as long as you don't have to go along.
- and fun a lot more work.
to every man. Isn't that the darndest time
for a guy to get those odds?
the girls at
the office start confiding in you.
he's too old to go anywhere.
and have begun to grow in the middle.
I'm against anything that
I'm too old to enjoy.
What could hell possibly be like?
Home videos of the same reunion?
by his doctor instead of by the police.
and
choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
you don't need
to take a laxative.
As you grow
older, it will avoid you.
if it had to
work its way through Congress.
you
find your car in the parking lot.
and
you can't get it started.
and you don't know till the 4th of July.
and you didn't do anything the
night before.
if it tastes good, spit it out.
the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
when you can't remember
anything.
because it's too risky of an investment.
I
spent all my money.