Katz-n-Kix for Kidz

 
Catz Cinema Cat Tidbitz Cat Haiku


 
 
Q: Why does a tiger have stripes?
    A: So he won't be spotted.

Q: What do you call a cat who does tricks?
    A: A magic kit.

Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do?
    A: Light mouse work.

Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?
    A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.

Q: Which state has a lot of dogs and cats?
    A: Petsylvania.

Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?
    A: Catch.

Q: What do English cats drink in the afternoon?
    A: Kit-tea.

Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
    A: To a mewseum.

Q: How do you call a barber cat?
    A: Yell..."Hair Kitty!"

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Wasn't that fun? Want some more? Here we go...

Catz Cinema
Catz watch movies all the time   Always on the catz mind

Translations into Katzspeak
(that's kitty language)

"The Charge of the Light Brigade" =
      Kitties at play in the night

"The Ten Commandments" =
      Get off the counter! Don't eat the plants!

"Bye-Bye Birdie", "Predator" =
      Kitty outside

"Singing in the Rain", "The Howling" =
      Let me in *NOW*

"The Great Escape" =
      You can't stop me from getting out!

"Sleeper" =
      Lap cat's movie

"Hero at Large" =
      Hero, my cat, is fat

"She's Gotta Have It" =
      Obsessed cat at play

"The Hunger" =
      My dish is empty--again!

"The Shining" =
      Cat's eyes at night

"2001: A Space Odyssey" =
      Exploring Fluffy's mind

"The Cat from Outer Space" =
      Cat behaves angelically, always

"Mrs Doubtfire", "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" =
      Kitty jumping onto wood heater or stove

"Splash" =
      Kitty in the bath

"Shattered" =
      Kitty walking amongst crockery

"Whatever happened to Baby Jane" =
      Kitty licking her lips while sitting in bassinette

"Tarzan of the Jungle" =
     Kitty climbing up tree or swinging on curtains

"Meatballs" =
      Kitty chasing food around floor

"Psycho" =
      Kitty going crazy chasing moths / anything / nothing

"A Streetcar named Desire" =
      Kitty sneaking into my car to sleep

"That Darn Cat!" =
      Anytime, anywhere--the Disney flick

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m-e-o-w   Cat Haiku
Haiku is a small Japanese poem.
Hai means amusement (fun),
and ku means sentence.

Haiku does not RHYME, but it
has a very specific RHYTHM.
Each haiku has three (3) lines;
the first line with five syllables,
the second line with seven,
and the third line with five,
making a total of seventeen.
Once you have read a few,
you will start to get the idea.

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You *must* scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold -
Elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, No! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! The Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws aren't that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now.
Every room is dark and cold,
Time for "Cup Hockey."

In deep sleep hear sound,
Cat vomit hair ball somewhere,
Will find in morning.

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you.
Want to sniff my bum?

What is THIS? Mildred Mouse has read enough about CATS.
She wants to know if any of YOU
would like to write your very own HAIKU
...about anything BUT cats?!

SEND her your haiku verses, and
Mildred will publish the most fun ones
right here in the KIDZZZONE:
Join in the fun!
E-mail Mildred Mouse with your very own HAIKU
mouse-mail


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